An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery And he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son. 'Yes, Dad, what is it? ' 'Don't be nervous, son, do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me... your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife.' ---000---
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point When you stop lying about your age And start bragging about it. ---000---
The older we get, The fewer things Seem worth waiting in line for. ---000---
When you are dissatisfied And would like to go back to youth, Think of Algebra. ---000---
You know you are getting old when Everything either dries up or leaks. ---000---
One of the many things No one tells you about aging Is that it is such a nice change From being young. ---000---
Ah, being young is beautiful, But being old is comfortable. ---000---
First you forget names, Then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when You forget to pull it down. ---000---
Long ago, When men cursed And beat the ground with sticks, It was called witchcraft... Today, it's called golf.
Well Wisher
(16/11/2010 4:45 PM)
Getting Old (1)
A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. 'Is it true,' she wanted to know, 'that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?'
'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, 'I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked 'NO REPEATS'.
Well Wisher
(16/11/2010 4:41 PM)
How True It Is
HOW TRUE IT IS
Another year has passed And we're all a little older. Last summer felt hotter And winter seems much colder.
I rack my brain for happy thoughts, To put down on my pad, But lots of things, That come to mind Just make me kind of sad.
There was a time not long ago When life was quite a blast. Now I fully understand About 'Living in the Past'.
We used to go to friends' homes, Baseball games and lunches. Now we go to therapy, to hospitals, And after-funeral brunches.
We used to have hangovers, From parties that were gay. Now we suffer body aches And sleep the night away.
We used to go out dining, And couldn't get our fill. Now we ask for doggie bags, Come home and take a pill.
We used to travel often To places near and far. Now we get backaches From riding in the car.
We used to go out shopping For new clothing at the Mall But, now we never bother... All the sizes are too small.
That, my friend is how life is, And now my tale is told.
So, enjoy each day and live it up... Before you're too damn old!!
Well Wisher
(15/11/2010 9:37 AM)
Marriage Commandments
Marriage Commandments 1 Marriages are made in heaven. But then again, so is thunder and lightning.
Commandment 2 If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, Talk in your sleep.
Commandment 3 Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least a 100 grand!
Commandment 4 Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.
Commandment 5 When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.
Commandment 6 Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Commandment 7 Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said . After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
Commandment 8 Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
Commandment 9 Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry. That is why one treats the other like toxic waste.
Commandment 10 A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
BONUS COMMANDMENT STORY A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The wife was stunned for a moment, but then smiled, 'It really works!'
Well Wisher
(4/11/2010 4:43 PM)
FaceBook Account
I have just created an account in Facebook using my full name. All of you are welcome to add me in your FB.
